January 19, 2011 My First Blog

I am pretty excited about creating a blog.  I have not gone into the writing foray for quite some time.  I have been so "out of it" for so long.  I feel as if I am rising from the dead.  That is what chronic illness and mental illness had done to me.  I take  responsibility for allowing it to go there.  I was a willing participant as you will, but no more!!  My illnesses and apathy created more problems for myself.  On November 17, 2010, I weighed in at 24 Hour Fitness ... 407 pounds.  I was not surprised.  My lethargy had me barely moving day-to-day.  Now the phrase if you don't use it you lose it, is true.  I felt like I had no brain function.  I would reminisce about my mental ability as if pondering a long-lost friend.  My world consisted of cable tv and the internet.  Also I went on once a week shopping trips (at stores where I could use the mechanized cart) and sleep.  My partner, Pam, is also my caregiver.  She cooks the food, does the laundry, housecleaning, etc., etc. and holds a second full-time job.   I am on SS disability.  I have a condition called Hidradenitis Suppurativa.  It is basically deformed sweat glands.  There is no cure, only treatment.  I have Remicaid infusions once a month.  Remicaid is a God-send for me.  Before the treatments, I was in bed 20-22 hours a day.  When the sweat glands are deformed, the sweat (that we all do) cannot exit the body so it festers and causes cysts and boils.  If it cannot get out one way, it tunnels until it finds an exit.  It also finds the most delicate places in your body to manifest.  I was a horrible sight.  Through the Remicaid, I have less active sores and a lot of scarring.  Another sister-disease is lymphedema.  This is where your tissue fills with fluid but your body cannot drain it properly.  I have a lump on the inside of my right thigh that weighs about 6 pounds.  I know what it weighs because it is the same size as the last lump that was removed from the very same place two years ago.  : S

On top of all that I have Type II Diabetes, Hypo-thyroidism, High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol, Bi-Polar Disorder, PTSD and Anxiety w/Panic Attacks.  (And a partridge in a pear tree!)  I'm telling you, sometimes I don't know whether to scratch my watch, or wind my butt!!!  I take a myriad of medications and I am saying all of this because I am sick of having a sickly attitude.  I am done with it all.  No more need for the wah-mbulance!!
 
I said that Pam and I went to 24 Hour Fitness.  What a wake up call.  We both got BodyBuggs.  They are nifty armbands that record your calorie burn and steps throughout the day.  You plug it in to the program and find out where you stand.  In order to lose weight you have to burn more calories than you ingest.  Pretty simple idea of calories in/calories out.  If you want to lose 2 pounds a week, you should take in 1,000 less calories than you burn.  The crazy thing is, it works!  Pam and I have each lost 35 pounds since November 17th!!  We have stepped up our activity and let me tell you, I have been feeling great!  Even though I have a little difficulty with crowds, I have even gone shopping the past seven weeks without the use of the mechanized cart.  I feel the awakening of my spirit.  Finding my old self.  Actually feeling joy, even when there is adversity.  That is my mind changing.  

Another mind change is we are both enrolled in college now.  I am taking the long-distance learning courses (because I still have the anxiety issue).  Pam is going to the campus.  She is giving up her second job and we both got student loans (yikes).  It was necessary to take out the loans because we both could not see Pam working 2 jobs and taking 3 classes.  So it is psychology for me and mechtronics for Pam.  Yay us!!

Til next time ....